SAUDI ARABIA — President Biden's trip to Saudi Arabia got off to a rocky start, as Biden repeatedly asked the Crown Prince if he could meet Jafar.

"So are you really, really sure you're not Jafar?" asked President Biden as he sat down with Mohammed bin Salman. "Well, maybe you can rub your magic lamp for me and then tell the genie my wish is to see Jafar! Wait, you don't even have a magic lamp? What kind of joke is this?! Come on, man!"

After calming the visibly frustrated Biden, aides attempted to turn the conversation to oil production. "Oh right, oil!" said Biden, suddenly remembering the task at hand. "So, can you give us some? Tell you what, every million barrels you give me, I'll give you one free assassination. You're the guy who likes assassinations, right? Boy, I got some drones you would love!"

At the word "assassination", an angry Crown Prince abruptly ended the meeting and aides attempted to usher Biden out the door. "I don't want to meet with this clown anyway! Bring me Jafar!" shouted the President as he walked out. "Yeah go on you clown, get on your magic carpet and go get the big guy!"

At publishing time, the price of gas had gone up another 700% and America was preparing for its next war in the Middle East.

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