U.S.—Democratic leaders consoled themselves from their failure to stop Brett Kavanaugh from assuming a seat on the Supreme Court Monday by reminding the nation that although they lost the SCOTUS seat, they were able to keep their dignity.
As liberal protesters banged on the doors of the Supreme Court and attempted to claw them open, Senate Democrats calmed their constituents by pointing out that they were able to be the bigger person in all this.
"At very least, we didn't drag our political process to new depths and make ourselves look like petulant children," said Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. "It's important you don't lose the high ground in your quest for political clout. We could have tried to utterly destroy a man's life and turn to increasingly transparent obstruction tactics, but we didn't. We could have screamed and cried when it looked like things weren't going to go our way, but we didn't. We stayed out of all the muck and showed ourselves to be the mature ones."
"Surely this will endear swing voters to us in the upcoming midterms," he added hopefully.