Politics
Dems Propose Fighting Obesity By Switching To Communism

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Many are concerned with Americans' record high obesity rates, which were made even worse by the pandemic and the lockdowns. 

But Joe Biden and the Democrats have a plan to fight against obesity: switching to communism, where there will be no food at all. Americans will no longer be able to gorge themselves on hundreds of food options in their city, as there will be one food option: the bread line, which will usually have no bread.

"If we really want to get Americans skinny -- and I mean really skinny -- we need to switch to communism right away," said Joe Biden in a speech Friday. "Have you seen some of those pictures from the Soviet Union -- the ones the government didn't destroy and murder the journalists who took them? We're talking some really serious weight loss here."

"It's my recommendation that we move to communism immediately for best results."

Health experts say that switching from capitalism to communism can help people lose up to 50% of their body weight almost right away as the government is unable to efficiently distribute goods and resources as the free market does. Throw in a famine or two thanks to bureaucrats who know nothing about farming handing down edicts about how to farm, and you are looking at the perfect scenario for incredible weight loss.

The move to communism will also address overcrowding and population growth.

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