WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the Senate approving a new funding bill and sending it across the hall for a House of Representatives vote set for Wednesday night, a group of top Democrats somberly removed their sombreros to signal the end of the government shutdown.
After holding the country hostage for over 40 days and wreaking havoc on the travel industry and other areas of the public sector before caving for no discernible gain for their agenda, Democrats marked the pending reopening of the government by ceremonially taking off their Mexican hats.
"This is indeed a mucho, mucho sad day," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We held out as long as we could, and would have been perfectly fine holding out even longer to teach the Republicans a lesson about… something or other… but some of the members of our party decided to break ranks and vote to reopen the government. So, as a way of honoring our great shutdown, we now remove our beautiful sombreros. Farewell, government shutdown! Adios!"
Though he remained under heavy criticism from others within his party for failing to prevent the shutdown from ending, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer showed his solidarity by joining Jeffries in removing his own sombrero. "I know my colleagues are not happy with me," Schumer said. "But I am still a proud Democrat. Proud to have presided over the longest government shutdown in U.S. history. Proud to have stood up to the Republicans and President Trump. And now, proud to honor what we did by removing this fabulous sombrero."
At publishing time, congressional Democrats were reportedly preparing to introduce a resolution to build a bronze sombrero statue outside the Capitol to commemorate the shutdown.
Congress is preparing to make some big changes!
