Democrats Demand Kavanaugh Submit To DNA Test To Prove He's Not Actually Hitler
Politics · Sep 4, 2018 · BabylonBee.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. - As the confirmation hearings for President Trump's SCOTUS pick Brett Kavanaugh began Tuesday, the leaders of the Democratic Party immediately turned up the heat on the nominee.

While several Democrats have simply questioned Kavanagh's prior political opinions, a growing contingent within the Party is demanding that the nominee submit to a DNA test in order to prove that he's not literally Adolf Hitler.

"History books claim that Hitler committed suicide by ingesting cyanide and then shooting himself in the head, but we don't know anything for sure," said Sen. Cory Booker (D-NJ). "Wouldn't it be just like this president to choose Hitler to serve on the Supreme Court?"

As the hearings started up Tuesday morning, Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL) claimed that Kavanaugh's judicial decisions "put him on the same level as Hitler." He added: "How can we know he's not der Führer until we have DNA proof?" He then grilled Kavanaugh: "Are you now or have you ever been ADOLF HITLER HIMSELF, GOOD SIR???"

Kavanaugh calmly pushed back against these claims by noting that he looks nothing like Adolf Hitler, and that he's only 53 years old, a full 76 years younger than the dictator would be if he were alive today.

Despite the nominee's rebuttal, several Democrats have already filed a request with the Holy Sepulchre Cemetery in Coram, New York, in order to have the body of Hitler's nephew, William Patrick Stuart-Houston, exhumed for DNA testing against Kavanaugh.


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