U.S. — Democratic leadership in multiple sanctuary cities complained Monday about undocumented immigrants destroying the very sanctuaries established for them.
"Our system is being totally overwhelmed. We are literally dying," said New York City Mayor Eric Adams. "I'm beginning to think supporting illegal immigration — excuse me, undocumented people of migration — was a bad idea."
"I mean refugees. What are we calling them again?"
According to U.S. Customs and Border Protection, undocumented immigrants (or illegal aliens, as racists describe them) reached 2.7 million in 2022. For 2023, the number is likely in the hundreds of millions of billions.
"I thought we were safe up here in Chicago because everyone knows immigrants can't travel," Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson said. "I thought all the gun violence might help deter them, too, but apparently they find it appealing because it reminds them of home."
As sanctuary cities crumble into broken heaps of refuse, Democrats reportedly are refusing to accept responsibility for causing the immigration crisis they very clearly caused. Blame has been shifted to southern states, racists, and even immigrants themselves.
"[Illegal aliens] are not committing crimes in their best interests," said Washington, D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser. "I just don't understand it. They are literally destroying the safe spaces we made for them."
"And not even a thank you!"
Experts believe that it's only a matter of time before every sanctuary city falls, even Oakland.
"I don't understand why they even came here. No one likes Oakland," said Oakland Mayor Sheng Thao. "Being a sanctuary city was supposed to be an easy virtue signal, you know? All the glory, none of the work. But crime has never been higher!"
At publishing time, Democrats had also complained about rising inflation while they worked to raise the minimum wage again.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
