WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congressional leaders held a solemn ceremony in the nation's capital today, as Democratic senators arrived at the White House to hold a candlelight vigil in front of migrant gang mug shots.
Legislators gathered on the White House lawn to memorialize apprehended and deported criminals in a touching display of love and admiration for the achievements and cultural enrichment they brought to the crimes they perpetrated in the U.S.
"The country simply won't be the same without them," said Senator Elizabeth Warren while holding a candle next to an MS-13 gang member's mugshot. "These people filled important roles in our society and took the types of assault, rape, and killing jobs many Americans refuse to do. Coming here to pay our respects to them is the least we could do to honor them."
Despite the tears and somber mood on the White House lawn, the lawmakers vowed to carry on the legacy left behind by the deported criminals. "We will make it our mission to finish the job these brave migrants started," said Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. "They showed us the way to dismantle America piece by piece, and we will take on that responsibility in their absence. The memory of these departed heroes will continue to live on through the Democratic Party."
At publishing time, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was seen weeping outside the White House fence after laying eyes on the mugshots.
This freshman had a bright future ahead of her, but then her parents spent $250K to send her to a public university.
