U.S.—The Democratic campaign to encourage mail-in voting hit a snag yesterday after a mailer encouraging people to vote by mail got lost in the mail.
The Postmaster General confirmed today that approximately 86 million pamphlets sent by the DNC extolling the virtues and benefits of voting by mail simply vanished. "I dunno. There were, like a ton of them too. Not sure how that happened," he said.
After receiving an alert, mail carriers across the nation searched through their couch cushions and in their cars for the missing mail, but to no avail. Local police have also been pulled off rioting duty to comb the forests and sewers for the pamphlets.
In a statement, Trump responded, "See? I told you the mail was a bad idea! Very bad, and by the way, not so good! Sad. Many people made fun of my warnings, and I could say 'I told you so' but I won't. Well, I guess I just did. But you know, your president knows these things, he knows these things, and by 'he' I mean 'me.' You don't have to thank me."
Witnesses say they saw Trump burying mysterious bundles of paper in the White House Rose Garden later that night.