LEXINGTON, SC — Darline Graham, sister of the late Senator Lindsey Graham, who was appointed to finish her brother's term after his sudden passing, was reportedly seen quietly googling "What do senators do?"
Graham was believed to have been researching the topic to help her in her current campaign to retain her Senate seat in the race against Democrat Annie Andrews. Despite her brother's popularity in the deeply red state, and President Donald Trump's endorsement, Graham was reportedly hoping to improve her chances of victory by first determining what exactly a senator is.
"Is it like some type of sorcerer?" Graham was overheard asking one of her advisors. "I know I've technically had the job for a few weeks now, but I still don't really know what it is that I'm supposed to be doing. Is it like a waitress? An auto mechanic? Something else?"
Graham's leaked Google search history also revealed the following queries:
How long is a senate term?
What is a senate?
If spice melange can grant Guild Navigators limited prescience to fold space, how come the Fremen don't have prescience sufficient to keep people off Dune? Are they stupid?
Despite blowback from not knowing what her job entails, latest polls showed that Graham was still the favorite to win re-election in November. Sources within Graham's campaign disclosed that she would make every effort between now and Election Day to learn what a senator is supposed to do.
At publishing time, Graham's research had reportedly hit a snag, as even Google was unsure as to what U.S. senators actually do these days.
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