ONTARIO, CA — Local man Nathan Williams reportedly told his wife he'd be happy to hear more about their house being on fire just as soon as a helicopter finished passing by.
According to sources, Williams calmly put up his hand, informing his wife it was time to stop squealing about whatever she was upset about because there was a cool helicopter passing overhead that required his full attention.
"Look at that thing. I wonder if it's analyzing traffic patterns or something," Williams reportedly whispered, fully present in the moment.
Williams ignored the increasing amount of smoke in the living room and really thought about what it must be like to pilot a helicopter. "I bet it's easy," he mused. "I've flown helicopters in video games."
Witnesses reported that his wife tried shaking him by the shoulders to snap him out of the apparent helicopter trance, but he would not be moved. Sources said her screams of, "Nathan, the house is on fire!" fell on deaf ears.
At publishing time, firefighters arrived at the scene to find the Williams house completely engulfed in flames, having been distracted by the helicopter passing overhead on their way to the fire.
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