WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a rare display of bipartisan unity, Democrats and Republicans came together Thursday morning to pass a law barring filmmakers from ever making the sure-to-be-awful God’s Not Dead 3. The bill, entitled the Comprehensive No More Terrible Christian Movies Act Of 2017, passed with an astounding unanimous vote, records revealed.
“I am especially proud to be an American today,” Speaker Paul Ryan said in a press conference Thursday afternoon. “Democrats and Republicans have our differences, but it’s wonderful to know that in times like this we can band together for a greater cause. The knowledge that our children are safe from wooden acting, completely unbelievable characters, and ham-fisted moral messages will help us all to sleep more soundly at night.”
The language of the bill is also expected to pose legal problems for upcoming sequels and spin-offs to a host of other questionable Christian movies such as Fireproof, War Room, and Courageous.