CHICAGO, IL - President Trump has graciously agreed to compromise with Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson, allowing for designation of an "ICE-free zone" in the Mayor's house.
With the Mayor determined to create zones where illegal immigrants can escape ICE, Trump announced that illegal immigrants can indeed remain safe from deportation inside Mayor Johnson's house.
"You can stay in his house as long as you wish. There will be absolutely no ICE raids, I promise," announced Trump. "See, I know how to reach across the aisle and compromise. Everyone says I can't, but I just did. The mayor can have an ICE-free zone just like he wants, the immigrants can stay, and the streets will be clean. It's a win-win-win. I will now read the mayor's street address aloud so illegal immigrants in the area can head that way."
According to sources, hundreds of illegal immigrants showed up at the Mayor's residence within minutes. "Pack it in tight, folks," said police officer Dean Thomas as he placed a ‘ICE-Free Zone' sign in the yard. "Feel free to take over the backyard and the shed. The Mayor is going to be just thrilled that President Trump caved on this. Remember, you can break any laws you want so long as you are on the premises -- law enforcement has no authority here. Have fun!"
At publishing time, President Trump had informed the Mayor that there are no takebacks.
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