Compassionate: This Democratic Representative Is So Opposed To Gun Violence That He's Willing To Nuke The Entire Country To Stop It
Politics · Nov 19, 2018 · BabylonBee.com

Wow. Compassionate and humane: Democratic representative Eric Swalwell is such a champion of peace that he just announced he would be willing to nuke the entire country to stop gun violence once and for all.

Amazing.

While gun owners have never offered to nuke the country to stop gun violence, Swalwell stepped up to the plate and vowed to do it himself. Once again, we see that progressives are the ones with values like compassion, kindness, and civility, while Republicans have failed to do anything to stop firearm abuse. Have you ever heard of a Republican suggesting they'd bathe the country in nuclear fire in order to prevent another mass shooting?

We didn't think so.

Swalwell's plan seems to hold water: should the entire country be covered in nuclear fallout, very few people would be able to use gun violence, because they would be dead. Studies have shown that in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, people would be forced to resort to cobbled-together weapons made out of pipes, or even melee weapons as they struggle for survival.

"I'd like to see people perform a mass shooting when there's really only a few thousand people left," Swalwell said in an interview Sunday. "School shootings and active shooter situations would be a thing of the past."

"Sure, we'd have Super Mutants and stuff to deal with, but we'll find a solution to them when the time comes," he said, quickly adding, "Though I know what the solution probably is already: nukes."

A brave champion of peace and justice! Great job, Rep. Swalwell. You give us hope for the green, glowy, radioactive future!


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