WASHINGTON, D.C. - Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas was surprised to learn last week that black representation is very important to President Biden. This comes after Biden previously attempted to block Thomas's nomination while viciously attempting to destroy his life and reputation.
"Black representation matters, folks!" said Biden to a group of journalists outside the White House. "I have always been extremely passionate about black people being judges on, um, courts and stuff. It's all I've dreamt about since I was a young boy on the tough streets of Baltimore!"
When asked about how he felt about Clarance Thomas being on the court despite his best efforts, Biden replied: "Who?" before reaching down to sniff his pet cat which he had mistaken for a very small child.
Thomas, who had been smeared over sexual harassment claims that were never actually filed, was humiliated on live TV by Joe Biden who, at the time was a 49-year-old balding racist serving in the senate. Biden turned the confirmation hearing into a circus because he disagreed with Clarence Thomas' views on a few things.
"I can't rightfully vote for someone who thinks babies deserve to live," said Biden at the time. "Plus, you're a black! Whoever heard of such an outlandish idea as a black on the court! I vote nay!"
Biden reaffirmed his commitment to nominating a woman of color to the court yesterday, and promised to pick someone "clean and articulate."
Kamala Harris is out of a job, but luckily we've got ten great career options just for her.
