Church Ushers Roam Aisles Asking If Anyone Needs A Pillow
Church · Feb 20, 2019 · BabylonBee.com

ORANGE, CA - Ushers at Delta Community Church were seen Sunday morning roaming the aisles asking if anyone needed a pillow, beverage, snack, or pair of earplugs during the church service.

Churchgoers say they really appreciate the new in-pew service, through which they can get all kinds of freebies and foods for purchase to make their church experience comfortable and luxurious. The church also has helpful lights on the back of each pew indicating when it's OK to get up and use the restroom, such as during the offering.

"Hi, can I get you anything?" one usher said quietly, working his way back from the front of the church---the "first class" section where the big tithers sit---to the economy seats. "Pillow, bag of peanuts, blindfold?"

The churchgoer took a few minutes to decide, perusing the pew-back menu.

"Just a beverage? No, sorry, we don't have any alcohol. I know the sign on the building says we are a community church but we're basically Baptists. You can try the Presbyterian church across the street," the usher said apologetically. The man ended up settling for a cup of grape juice and a blanket.

Unfortunately, by the time the usher made it to the back pew, he was all out of pillows, so one man had to settle for resting his head on his Bible until the service let out.


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