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Christians Finally Vindicated As Sidehugs Found To Protect Against Coronavirus

U.S.—People have long made fun of Christians for their prudishness as they insist on giving sidehugs instead of more intimate, Satanic front hugs.

But Christians are getting the last laugh as sidehugs are found to be much more effective at slowing the spread of Coronavirus.

"It seems that an awkward, distant hug from the side is much less likely to transmit the virus," said one expert. "A sinful front hug is likely to get you sick, kill you, and then send you to hell."

"Who's laughing now?" one youth pastor said, laughing. "Me. That's who is laughing. Ha!"

Even better, Christians were delighted to learn that not shaking people's hands in church greeting time is a great way to prevent the spread of Coronavirus, allowing many believers to abstain from the abhorred practice entirely.

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