LANSING, MI—After secretly viewing a recent trailer for HBO’s hit epic fantasy series Game of Thrones on his computer at work, local believer Mike Laswell reported Wednesday that he is really looking forward to a seventh season of acting like he doesn’t watch the show whenever he is interacting with his Christian friends and family.
The man says he “can’t wait” to see what twists and turns the ongoing drama of pretending he doesn’t watch the epic fantasy takes this season.
Over the weekend, Laswell reportedly popped a bag of popcorn, cracked open a beer, and drew his blinds in preparation for a marathon of all six previous seasons of the popular drama to get ready for feigning his ignorance of any details about the seventh season of the show to all his fellow church members.
“When Daenerys finally invades Westeros with her army of dragons, I can’t wait to pretend I have absolutely no idea what anybody is talking about,” he told reporters. “Last season, I had a moment of indiscretion when I tweeted during the insane ‘Battle of the Bastards’ episode. Luckily, no one at church follows me on Twitter.”
“No matter what happens from the icy winds beyond the Wall to the swirling sands of Dorne, I’ll be ready to give an answer for what I was doing each Sunday night that does not involve watching this worldly show,” he added.
At publishing time, a cornered Laswell had told a Christian friend that the Direwolf sticker on the back of his car was simply the logo for a Spanish soccer club.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.