ANAHEIM, CA — The owner of a local Chinese restaurant announced his retirement today, expressing his desire to step away from the daily grind and take the opportunity to spend far less time with his family.
Li Jun Chao, the founder of Yum Yum Good Taste Chinese Restaurant, has run the restaurant with his wife and children for over 25 years. "No more!" he said as the dinner rush died down. "I will finish the day, then I retire. It's time for me to step away from my work and not spend so much time with my family. Too much! Done!"
As with many Chinese restaurant owners, Chao started his business with the dream of one day never having to see his family again. "This is what we are all working toward," said Yu Jiang Bai, funder of the rival restaurant China Star across the street. "We compete fiercely with each other, operating 7 days a week, open for delivery until 2 A.M., and this is why. Now, he passes on to a new life. He now only has to see his wife and kids a few minutes a day. I hope I am one day so fortunate!"
Though Chao is unsure how he will spend his free time, he is certain it will involve less stress and far less interaction with those he loves. "I am leaving the restaurant to my son," he said. "He now lives with the goal of someday not spending 20 hours a day with his family."
At publishing time, Chao was celebrating by smoking his 74th cigarette of the day.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
