DALLAS, TX — In a desperate attempt to lure back enough customers to keep the restaurant chain afloat, Chili's recently announced a genius ad campaign with the catchy new slogan: "At Least We're Not Applebee's."
Sources within Chili's management say that the slogan came out of a late-night brainstorming session they expect will either "make or break the corporation."
"Come on, guys — think!" Daisy Jondret, Chili's vice-president of operations reportedly said. "We know we can't compete with places like Sizzler or Five Guys, but what really sets Chili's apart? The mediocre food? The blasè décor? Our cute little Chili apostrophe?"
Anonymous sources say the room sat in silence before a lowly middle manager raised his hand. "Well….at least we're not Applebee's!"
The room allegedly burst into applause and a tremendous party as staff got to work on the new ad campaign. Initial polling strongly suggests the publicity move has done wonders to bring the handful of people who actually went to Chili's in the first place back to the restaurant.
"I was hesitant at first," said Maia Roman, a mother of 8 who can never make up her mind on date nights with her husband, which is why they always seem to end up at Applebee's. "But then I saw the sign, and I realized…they have a point. At least they're not Applebee's! Chili's it is!"
At publishing time, Applebee's had considered starting a new ad campaign: "At Least We're Not TGI Fridays."
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.