BETHESDA, MD — A leading group of child psychologists suggested screen time is now considered "OK" for toddlers as long as you are showing them the hit 2003 naval adventure film, Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World.
Prior to this change, the Association of Child Psychology had always advised parents that children under two years of age should have absolutely no screen time. But new data gathered by the ACP has revealed that this zero-tolerance recommendation only made sense for poor-quality children's programming that wasn't on par with Master and Commander.
"We will always continue warning parents about the danger of mindless, brain-rotting screen time, like when kids watch Miss Rachel or Blippi," said Dr. Hubert Spencer. "Children need to have social interaction with their parents, siblings, and other children in the real world. But, our research is now showing that Master and Commander is healthy in any dose."
The naval adventure film follows the adventures of Captain "Lucky" Jack Aubrey, played by Russell Crowe, and the crew of the corvette HMS Surprise, in their mission to destroy a French privateer ship preying on British vessels off the coast of South America during the Napoleonic Wars.
"This film really has everything a growing child needs," continued Dr. Spencer. "Russell Crowe sings sea shanties, makes dad jokes about the 'lesser of two weevils,' and also teaches children about the meaning of friendship between Captain Lucky and Dr. Stephen Maturin, who is played by Paul Bettany. The film explores duty, obsession, survival, and the human cost of war, but also delivers intense sea battles. The little ones are learning a lot about the world around them when they watch Master and Commander."
When asked for comment, little Billy Tychus, age 2, said, "I wub the ships. Cannons go BOOM! BOOM!"
At publishing time, child psychologists were still playing Master and Commander on a 24-hour loop at their research facility to see if there was any point at which the movie was not rewatchable.
Do you think you can guess which one is the terrorist?
