FARMINGTON, MO - Progressive chickens at Stoodland Farms held a "Fox Storytime Hour" Friday, which some of the older hens considered controversial. During the event, various foxes were invited into the coop to read a story to the young chicks.

A number of hens were reportedly offended by the fox volunteers. "I can't believe what they're teaching our young-uns," said Pecky LeCorn. "I know there are foxes in the world, but to actually invite them into our coop to read to defensless chicks, it's uncheepable!"

Protests aside, LeCorn left her chicks in the care of the fox because she had a feathering appointment and babysitters were so hard to find. She reportedly took one last look and shook her head in dismay as Derrick the Fox read from Foxes Need To Eat Too And That's Perfectly Normal And Beautiful.

Rooster McStavens, an old cluck who loves the little chicks, was insulted that anyone could be so bothered.

"I say now, it's the year 2,022!" he crowed. "Your chicks ain't suddenly going to turn into foxes by hanging out with one! This coop needs to mature, I say. We done livin' in the dark ages, here!"

"Foxes are beautiful!"

At publishing time, all poultry in the coop was torn to shreds. Blood everywhere. Not even the young-uns survived.

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.