Chicago White Sox Sign Caitlin Clark In Hopes Of Finally Getting A Few People To Show Up At Their Games
Sports · Jun 25, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

CHICAGO, IL — With fan interest dwindling near the halfway mark of a disappointing season, the Chicago White Sox announced that they had signed WNBA sensation Caitlin Clark in hopes of drawing a crowd.

The Southside Major League Baseball club had been seeking a way to boost public interest as the team continued to fall further out of contention, leading club executives to make the bold move of signing the popular women's basketball star to suit up for the team.

"Honestly, she's probably as good as anyone we've got," said White Sox General Manager Chris Getz. "We're drowning in the division and we're open to any ideas we can get to bring fans in through the gates. We saw the crowds Caitlin Clark was drawing across the country for the WNBA and we figured ‘Why not?'"

Though Clark grew up playing softball in addition to other sports before focusing on basketball and has no experience playing baseball, Getz said this would not be a problem. "Have you seen our team this year?" he asked reporters when questioned about Clark's inexperience. "We can't pitch, we can't hit. Our fielders might as well be out there with hubcaps instead of baseball gloves. If nothing else, people will come to the ballpark out of morbid curiosity to see Caitlin Clark take the field."

Early reports indicated the White Sox had Clark penciled in to start in center field and bat fifth in the order.

At publishing time, players for the opposing Los Angeles Dodgers were preparing to unleash brutality on Clark to make her feel at home in her new sport.


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