CALGARY — A local doctor was embroiled in controversy this week and ultimately lost his medical license after being caught not wearing a mask while euthanizing a patient. The uproar that resulted from the incident has left the medical community in chaos regarding following COVID-19 protocols while killing people.
"When going through the process of ending someone's life, it is of the utmost importance to continue to take proper precautions to protect them from COVID," said Pierre LeMontineaux, Prime Minister Trudeau's official medical safety liaison. "Failing to wear a mask to protect a patient's life as you take their life is simply unacceptable."
The doctor, Massau Bollea, came away from the scandal confused and questioning the authorities. "I figured I'm ending this guy's life anyway, what's the point of trying to protect him from something that has the potential of killing him?" Bollea said after having a review board strip him of his license. "I mean, he literally wants to die, right? What am I protecting him from, exactly?"
The public at large seemed to share in Bollea's bewilderment. However, government authorities were applauding the review board's unshakeable commitment to adhering to potentially life-saving protocols, even during the course of life-ending procedures.
At publishing time, the government was in the process of establishing a more stringent social distancing policy that would require medical personnel to perform euthanasia procedures from an even greater distance, potentially with the use of long-range hunting rifles.
Kamala Harris is out of a job, but luckily we've got ten great career options just for her.
