SACRAMENTO, CA — Taking yet another step toward progress in voting rights, legislators in the state of California passed a law requiring that people fail a U.S. civics exam in order to be eligible to vote in elections.
The new bill was expected to be signed into law by Governor Gavin Newsom and fast-tracked to be implemented for elections in November, with California hoping to have the dumbest and least-informed voter turnout in American history.
"It's important that our voters know absolutely nothing," Newsom said. "In fact, we are so committed to making sure they have as little knowledge as possible, we're now requiring everyone to show proof that they have failed a U.S. civics exam before they are allowed to vote. If you know anything at all about how government works in the United States, California is not the place for you."
Democrats hoped that a further dumbed-down electorate would prove beneficial for their chances in November. "Having anyone with any level of understanding would be bad news," one California Democrat said. "Our data shows that our candidates really thrive when the voters are completely clueless about even the most basic aspects of U.S. civics and government. We've managed to keep our voters stupid here in California for a long time, and this new law will be the icing on the idiot cake."
At publishing time, Democrats agreed to continue using Hollywood celebrities as their public spokespeople due to the tremendous examples they set as uneducated voters.
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