WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a most cunning stratagem, Democratic lawmakers didst this morn unveil a petard of monstrous proportions, which they had labored to construct these many months past, swearing upon their honor it would at last bring low the orange-haired knave Trump and his band of Republican rogues.
"Verily, the hour of our triumph hath arriv'd," declared Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, gesturing grandly toward the great iron device, which did smoke and hiss most ominously upon the Capitol steps. "Hark, ye Republicans! Behold the engine of thy destruction! Long have we toil'd, long have we plotted, and now shall the wicked be repaid in full measure."
"Light it, light it!" cried the frenzied rabble of the left upon yon scrying-glass Bluesky. "Let none be spar'd!"
UPDATE: At press time, sources confirm that the Democrats have been hoisted, in full and most spectacular fashion, by said petard. Witnesses report that the device, upon being lit, did pivot of its own accord and discharge its contents directly upon those who had wrought it, sending Schumer and other Democrats arcing gracefully o'er the dome of the Capitol.
"Forsooth, what cruel turns of Fortune's wheel hath befallen us!" muttered House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries, picking petard-shrapnel from his lapel. "Such wickedness as passeth all imagining!"
Trump, gazing down from his lofty tower, did clap his hands most merrily at the spectacle, and was heard to cry aloud, "Tis a wondrous sight! Huge!"
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