LOS ANGELES, CA — Questions about his future after leaving the White House were apparently answered this week, as Joe Biden announced that he had signed with a talent agency and immediately landed a role as a corpse on CSI:Vegas.
The former president successfully made his transition from the Oval Office to Hollywood, inking a deal with industry powerhouse Creative Artists Agency, which quickly found a highly sought-after role of a lifeless body on the popular CBS television series.
"We've never seen someone more perfect to play this part," said CSI:Vegas showrunner Jason Tracey. "I've been involved in the CSI franchise for years, and we've gone through hundreds and hundreds of corpses over that time. I've never seen anyone who more perfectly portrays a dead person than Joe Biden. It's the role he was meant to play."
Sources said Biden filmed his scene earlier this week in a single take, though he reportedly offered to spend all day shooting it as many times as needed. "This is a heck of a gig, Jack," the former president was overheard saying. "All these years I could've been doing this for a living. I wish someone would have… would have… I wish that they… back before. I was a truck driver. Drove a big rig. And I… I… that's how that happened. With the egg salad."
The show's crew said Biden was one of the easiest actors they had ever worked with, though they had to wake him up after filming was completed.
At publishing time, film producers were rumored to already be heavily pursuing Biden to star in a modern reboot of the cult classic Weekend at Bernie's.
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