LAS VEGAS, NV—Joe Biden was asked yet again today if he plans to abolish the Constitution, overthrow Congress, dismiss the Supreme Court, and set up a Communist regime to take their place. Once again, Biden refused to answer the question, saying voters will find out whether he plans to seize the means of production and institute a one-party rule, U.S.S.R.-style.
"Look, if I tell you whether or not I plan to institute a new Communist order, establishing a glorious worker-led revolution that will lead us out of this capitalistic nightmare and into a paradisical utopia, that would become the headline," Biden said. "That would be playing Trump's game. So I'm not going to say whether I support this great idea."
"Don't voters deserve to know this?" asked a concerned reporter.
"No, they don't deserve to know," Biden snapped back. "And you'll be the first thrown into the gulag, bucko, I tell you what. Write that whippersnapper's name down, Kamala."