WASHINGTON, DC — According to sources in the White House, President Biden has been given his very own Weeble-Wobble to help keep him occupied and upright in the months leading up to November's election.
According to White House staffers, Biden's new bottom-heavy outfit was custom-made by Fisher-Price and is completely bullet-proof in addition to being impossible to knock down. It also sports a spiffy new presidential seal on the front.
Sources confirmed that if knocked over, Biden will quickly bounce upright due to the state-of-the-art weeble-wobble design.
"The president is taking a stand for democracy," said Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre as Biden weebled and wobbled behind her. "The right-wing conspiracy theorists who claim that the president is falling down on the job are literally wrong. This is just another example of President Biden bringing stability to our government in these topsy-turvy times."
"After I signed the packandelempackatlackact into law, my staff gave me this wbegbbobbler - PAUSE," Biden said when asked for comment. "And it only cost four hundred million billion - if you don't like it, yer a... a... well, anyway..."
At publishing time, former president Donald Trump had criticized Biden's Weeble-Wobble, demanding the pear-shaped contraption be removed for the debates.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
