EMERYVILLE, CA — In the wake of Disney Pixar's mass layoffs, sources close to the well-beloved Pixar Lamp Luxo Sr. are claiming that the pop-culture icon has been forced to seek other employment and is now engaged in keeping fries warm at McDonald's.
"This is the only place I can find work," lamented Luxo Sr. through a lamp translator. "I tried Dreamworks Animation, Illumination Studios and even selling my body at a local pawn shop. They offered me 4 dollars. I've never felt so low."
According to a talking tow-truck still employed by Pixar who wished to remain anonymous, Luxo Sr. was just one of the 14% of Pixar staff who lost their positions in the round of layoffs. Several diners at the local McDonald's have since claimed to have caught glimpses of the former star busily engaged in heating up fries in the restaurant's back kitchen.
"We were going through the drive-through and my daughters started saying, ‘Daddy, daddy, it's that lamp from the movies!'" said Carl Streckerson, father of four. "Sure enough, when I took a second look, there he was. He even gave us an autograph."
"To be honest, our new hire's a bit eccentric," commented Gary Wilbert, Luxo's shift manager. "It took a while for us to get him to stop jumping up and down on customers' orders. He's learning quickly, though. He also seems oddly familiar, though I can't quite place where I've seen him before. Oh well."
At publishing time, McDonald's had denied any allegations that Luxo Sr. was engaged in drying mop heads.
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