WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sources say Biden is feeling nervous after an unexpected visit from his Ukrainian boss Volodymyr Zelensky just as the White House was wrapping things up to go home for the holidays.
"Oh no! Vocab Zikorsky is here! What am I supposed to be doing? Everybody, look busy!" said a frantic Biden to White House staff as Zelensky's limo pulled up. "Darnit all! Jill hates it when I have the boss over to dinner unannounced. Someone make some perogies or something. Do Ukrainians eat perogies?" Biden then sniffed a nearby staffer, something he always does when he gets nervous.
According to reports, Zelensky is stopping by Washington to check on the progress of the omnibus spending bill to ensure Biden gets it passed per his wishes. "Ukraine needs many more billions," said Zelensky. "For President Biden's sake, I pray he does not disappoint me."
Several Republican congressmen also nervously approached the wartime leader in his dashing tactical green sweatshirt corduroys to promise him they would do everything possible to send many more billions to his country as soon as possible.
At publishing time, Zelensky had left the meeting early after a visibly anxious President Biden attempted to sniff him too — something considered a major social faux pas in Ukrainian culture.
Congress has assured the Ukrainian President that they will pass another $50 billion in spending by this Friday.
In this instructional video, Chinese soldiers are trained how to shout the wrong pronouns at American forces: