DETROIT, MI — As he joined striking members of the United Auto Workers union on the picket line, President Joe Biden expressed his strong support for their efforts, insisting automakers provide all factory employees with 300 days of annual vacation just like he receives.
"This is about fairness, folks!" Biden said in remarks as he met with auto workers. "It's outrageous that these men and women have to come to work every day. Me? I get almost…I get….I…I get almost…almost…every…all of the days…of them off. And I'm the President of the United States. If I get 300 million billion…million…days off every year, so should they."
The vibe among the assembled workers on the picket line reportedly ranged from "meh" to "That guy's the president?" as the workers continued to hold out for higher wages and improved benefits. "We didn't really know who he was," said Ford factory worker Roger Hughes. "We just thought he was some crazy old guy who wandered over into our picket line. Turns out he's the leader of the free world. Who would've thought?"
Despite Biden's support, the workers failed to see a correlation between their situation and his. "It's not the same thing," Hughes said. "We actually want to work while making enough to buy eggs and maybe some coffee. He just goes on vacation all the time and hangs out on the beach. Not the same thing."
At publishing time, Secret Service agents were searching feverishly for President Biden after he wandered away from the picket line and followed an ice cream truck down the street.
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