BERLIN — Biden has announced a new program for youngsters called Biden Youth. The program is designed to remove kids from their parent's influence and to instill the unifying core beliefs of Biden Reich while the children are at their most impressionable ages. Biden fervently stated that the nuclear family is yet another obstacle we must overcome if we are to mold and groom the children into what they must become in the ongoing war against dangerous undesirables. Biden Youth will host activities such as summer camps, camping trips, and weapons training all while having the boys cite slogans and learn the core tenets of national socialism. The President is hopeful that his youth program will produce obedient, fanatical soldiers with an almost religious devotion to himself as Führer.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
