Brought to you by:
If you're the proud owner of a kid between the ages of 12 and 20, you know that the teenage years are the most socially sensitive time any child ever goes through. Teenagers have the capacity to be embarrassed by literally anything you say or do.
Some parents worry about this…but did you realize just how great a comedic opportunity you've been given here? We at the Babylon Bee have painstakingly compiled a knock-out list of absolutely killer ways to mortify your teen. Check it out!
Speak: We're starting with the easy ones here.
Exist: Your teen will never live this down.
Breathe: Ew, gross. What's wrong with you?
Take them on a family vacation where they will make lifelong memories they can cherish forever: This is cringe.
Be the President: (Joe Biden only)
Mistakenly fall in love with them when they travel back in time in a modified DeLorean and bump into you when you're a teenager: Disturbing.
When checking them in at the doctor's office, loudly state the reason for their visit: Make sure to spell out your teen's middle name so that nobody misspells it, too.
Say "hello" to their friends: Adults saying "hello" to teenagers is an unforgivable social faux pas.
Serve them dinner: The food at our house is GROSS, Dad.
Wear your most functional pair of cargo shorts: Works best when paired with calf-length white crew socks and some nice flip-flops.
Hold your menu upside down and loudly ask for one printed right side up: Your comedic genius will have your teen in tears of laughter.
Drop some Gen-Z lingo on them, fam: They'll think you're bussin, no cap.
Well, there you go. Now get out there and put these tips into action.
NOT SATIRE: Announcing The Real Story of Christmas
The true meaning of Christmas is often obscured during the holiday season amidst the busyness, but its message still needs to be shared far and wide. Today, RevelationMedia is pleased to announce that The Real Story of Christmas is now in production!
This 3D-animated iBIBLE episode will include Gabriel's appearance to Mary, the wise men, Christ's birth, death, and resurrection, and an invitation to respond. In these dark times, the world needs the hope of Christ. Now you can be a part in producing The Real Story of Christmas and help it have a global impact this upcoming holiday season.
Click here to make a generous contribution today to help share the Christmas story with the world.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.