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If you're the proud owner of a kid between the ages of 12 and 20, you know that the teenage years are the most socially sensitive time any child ever goes through. Teenagers have the capacity to be embarrassed by literally anything you say or do.
Some parents worry about this…but did you realize just how great a comedic opportunity you've been given here? We at the Babylon Bee have painstakingly compiled a knock-out list of absolutely killer ways to mortify your teen. Check it out!
Speak: We're starting with the easy ones here.
Exist: Your teen will never live this down.
Breathe: Ew, gross. What's wrong with you?
Take them on a family vacation where they will make lifelong memories they can cherish forever: This is cringe.
Be the President: (Joe Biden only)
Mistakenly fall in love with them when they travel back in time in a modified DeLorean and bump into you when you're a teenager: Disturbing.
When checking them in at the doctor's office, loudly state the reason for their visit: Make sure to spell out your teen's middle name so that nobody misspells it, too.
Say "hello" to their friends: Adults saying "hello" to teenagers is an unforgivable social faux pas.
Serve them dinner: The food at our house is GROSS, Dad.
Wear your most functional pair of cargo shorts: Works best when paired with calf-length white crew socks and some nice flip-flops.
Hold your menu upside down and loudly ask for one printed right side up: Your comedic genius will have your teen in tears of laughter.
Drop some Gen-Z lingo on them, fam: They'll think you're bussin, no cap.
Well, there you go. Now get out there and put these tips into action.
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DOGE is here, and Elon and Vivek will eliminate millions of government positions