NEW YORK CITY — Prospects have dimmed considerably for local woman Violet Weber, who just graduated in December from Columbia with a degree in Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Studies.
With DEI programs being abolished across the country, the outlook for people trained to root out neo-colonial white power structures has never been worse.
"Really, really poor timing here," sighed Weber as she filled out another Wendy's application. "There's just no one interested any more in learning how to be less white and more gay. It was such good business in 2021."
After spending four years and $250,000 earning her degree, Weber nearly landed a job learning how to make pickles for a local pickler, but was ultimately beat out by a hobo who had more business experience. "It's been so disheartening," said Weber. "I offered to help make their pickles more queer-friendly, but the guy just stared at me. He seemed totally uninterested in a business-wide evaluation of how his three employees could dismantle the colonialism inherent in the pickling business. Such a loss."
At publishing time, Weber had been spotted out on the street corner holding a sign reading "Will call you racist for food."
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