TULSA, OK — Local five-year-old David Daniels ignored his mother's repeated warnings to stop standing in front of the microwave, and now Daniels is flying across the globe stopping criminals with his spectacular mutant powers.
Going by the mutant nickname "Microwave," Daniels reportedly developed the ability to fly as well as telekinesis after spending dozens of cumulative hours with his face planted firmly against a humming microwave. "Mom kept telling me to stop watching the lasagna bubble, but I just couldn't," explained Daniels. "Now, I can command magnetic fields and shoot lightning out of my fingers. So, it worked out pretty well."
Having now witnessed Daniels save the world on multiple occasions, Daniels' mother admitted her foolishness at trying to prevent her son from obtaining superpowers. "It's so embarrassing now, thinking back on all those times I told him to stop exposing himself to radiation," said Mrs. Daniels. "It was ignorant, and selfish is what it was."
At publishing time, Daniels had reportedly opened a school for other gifted children who had spent hour upon hour altering their DNA with microwaves.
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