WORLD — With COVID-19 no longer a public health emergency, people have largely abandoned their face masks and returned to pre-pandemic levels of caution with their health. That is, except for Asians, who appear to still be sticking with the masks.
"No one wears masks anymore," said Stephen Craig, a COVID-19 survivor and former mask wearer. "Except for Asians. I don't even go to Chinatown anymore. It looks like a biohazard zone."
According to Asian sources, Asians wore face masks to decrease the spread of disease long before it became cool during the COVID-19 pandemic, and they simply have no reason to stop now. "It is dishonorable to spread disease, so we take every precaution," said local Asian Wendy Wang. "Ancient Chinese secret."
"I, for one, wish everyone could be more like the Asians," confirmed CDC Director Jim O'Neill. "I really miss when everyone wore masks and felt less free and happy."
At publishing time, Antifa announced it would also be sticking with their masks despite the fact they insist they are not criminals.
Flock cameras are causing everyone to freak out, so The Babylon Bee launched an investigation into Flock Safety to separate fact from fiction. Here is everything you need to know about Flock
