ISRAEL—Archaeologists claim to have found King David's "Make Israel Great Again" hat.
Scholars believe King David rose to power on a wave of populist sentiment after King Saul failed to deliver on his campaign promise of "Hope" and the disastrous implementation of his healthcare plan, "Saulcare."
"King David gave big, rousing speeches to supporters, who all chanted 'Make Israel great again!' throughout his exciting rallies," said one researcher. "The masses had grown tired of King Saul's unfulfilled campaign promises, ballooning of the national debt, and unconstitutional drone war on the Philistines. They were looking for a normal politician who could go into Jerusalem and 'drain the swamp in Saul's court.'"
Historians have confirmed the authenticity of lawn signs reading "Make Israel Great Again" and various red hats with the same message, worn by thousands of David's supporters. He'd risen to popularity through a reality show where he fought a giant Philistine. Saul obviously didn't like David's rising popularity and so threw things at him (politics were more civilized in those days).
There is also evidence King David paid off a porn star.
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