WASHINGTON, D.C - The Senate has passed legislation that would make daylight savings time permanent. This decision has garnered bipartisan support but has run into a slight hiccup as congresswoman AOC has objected, stating we must continue to set our clocks twice a year.
"I for one am in favor of saving sunshine, not letting it go to waste, by selfishly consuming it all the time." said congresswoman AOC. "Setting our clocks twice a year is a small price to pay to ensure we never run out of our sunshine supply."
"These Senators are too lazy to be mildly inconvenienced to change their clocks and use up less sunlight in certain months." continued AOC. "In fact, I propose we should be setting our clocks even MORE to conserve sunlight."
AOC's fellow Congress members tried to explain to her that our Sun has 7 billion years of sunshine left and it's literally called the Sunshine Protection Act, but she remained unconvinced. "It's just like leaving my tesla lights on. Whenever I leave them on all night, my battery runs out quicker. And that's exactly what Congress wants to happen with the sun! It's lunacy!"
At publishing time, AOC proposed a revised version of the Green New Deal where Americans conserve sunlight by becoming nocturnal and only using up a maximum of 1 hour of sunlight a day.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
