Amid Gasoline Shortage, Antifa Switches To Molotov Mocktails
Worldviews · May 14, 2021 ·

U.S. - As the gas shortages continue following the Colonial Pipeline hack, Antifa members have been forced to find alternatives to throwing Molotov cocktails. Now the well-known, mostly peaceful freedom fighters have resorted to throwing non-flammable liquids. 

"Since gas is so hard to come by, we've had to adjust and start throwing Molotov mocktails instead at all of the evil, fascist pigs!" said Sloan Finch, a local Antifa leader. "And while our Molotovs no longer contain gasoline anymore, they still pack the same punch and show that the fight for justice can not be stopped."

"Not to mention the fresh fruity, aroma from the mocktails is kinda nice," Sloan continued. "And the delightful scent combined with our double masking is almost enough to cover up our mob's body odor."

Many Antifa members welcomed the new change as it was better for the environment anyway. "Burning mocktails is way better! Now we can lower our carbon footprint and never go to an evil gas station again!"

Police officers have also welcomed the change, but have led the Antifa mob to believe that throwing mocktails is totally way worse than throwing fire-spreading Molotovs. 

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.