U.S. - Antifa leaders are condemning the storming of the Capitol in D.C. as an egregious act of cultural appropriation. Antifa representatives report being "hurt deeply" by this insensitive display.

"My culture is not your protest!" said Portland Antifa organizer Vantrixie Dirpot in a New York Times column. "Antifa has a proud cultural heritage of surrounding government buildings, businesses, and homes while the occupants hide in terror. We're pros at this. We burned down D.C. last year because, you know, fascism. These posers have stolen our cultural heritage for their own purposes!"

"It makes me sick," said one elementary school teacher as she read the Times column to her kindergarten class. "These racist Trump supporters have not only committed an act of violent insurrection against our benevolent rulers-- they have committed the extremely insensitive act of stealing the proud cultural elements of brave anti-fascist fighters!" She then made her kindergarten class nod in agreement.

Biden's new Education Secretary has promised to require all school curricula to include teaching about the evils of appropriating Antifa culture.