WACO, TX—After accidentally catching the beginning of a World Cup game on television Friday morning, local man Bud Hampton was reportedly disgusted to see that the non-American international teams participating in the tournament didn’t sing the United States national anthem before the game.
The man rewound the footage several times, scouring the screen to see if there was any hint of scheduled displays of nationalistic pride toward America, but was unable to locate a single one.
“These Moroccan dudes are really showing their lack of patriotism for America,” said Hampton sternly as the game started without a single mention of the United States, moment of recognition for veterans, or paid U.S. military demonstration. “And the Iranians—they didn’t even say the Pledge of Allegiance, for goodness’ sake.
“It’s not a real sports game unless we sing the special America song ahead of time,” he added, shaking his head in disgust before turning the TV off. “Bunch o’ liberal cucks.”
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.