WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump has reportedly extended an olive branch to Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney, agreeing to a brief truce until the Dodgers could be defeated.
"The time has come to set aside our differences and unite around the common cause of defeating evil." Trump said in a joint press conference held with Carney. "While I will resume a military takeover shortly, we will agree to a short truce for the sake of our shared common belief that the Dodgers simply cannot be allowed to win the World Series."
"This truce is vital to the national security of both our countries," Carney agreed. "The Toronto Blue Jays must prevail, no matter how unlikely."
According to Polymarket, the Blue Jays are heavy underdogs due to no one in Canada knowing how to play baseball. Still, America retains hope that goodness can prevail. As part of the truce, Trump has agreed to drop all tariffs against Canada and stop referring to it as the 51st state of the United States. In exchange, Carney has promised to utilize government funds to improve Blue Jays training facilities and juice all the players.
At publishing time, Trump had been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts in combatting the godless amalgam of all that is unholy known as the Los Angeles Dodgers.
Liberal Brynnleigh witnesses a communist utopia in action!
