WASHINGTON, D.C. — Leaders within the Rebel Alliance have recently warned that Obama's Presidential Library is almost fully operational.
According to sources within the small band of freedom fighters, a hoard of recently recovered Obama files indicates that the library will soon be at full destructive capability.
"We must act now, before it is too late," said Chancellor Mon Mothma, gesturing at the steely edifice before a room full of Rebel officers. "Our spies say that this will have enough capacity to destroy a small star. However, it does have a weakness - a small, thermal exhaust port facing the south side of Chicago."
According to Rebel leaders, completion of construction on the Obama presidential library could spell the end of freedom for the galaxy.
"It may seem like suicide going up against the Obama Library, but it's our only hope," said Wedge Antilles, a Rebel pilot. "Thanks to the efforts of a few brave comrades, we now have the information to take down that gargantuan monstrosity. May the Force be with you."
At publishing time, a young farm boy from Iowa had assured the Rebel Alliance that he could hit the thermal exhaust port and destroy the library, despite many feeling it was impossible, even for a computer.
Liberal Brynnleigh witnesses a communist utopia in action!
