EL SEGUNDO, CA—Meatless meat was once scoffed at by the public, ridiculed for its flavorlessness and complete lack of similarity to actual meat. But now there is a new product on the market from the innovators at High Horse Inc., a plant-based meat manufacturer with a new meat alternative that tastes exactly like real meat to people who have obviously never eaten meat a day in their lives. They call it AintMeat®.
"The first time I tasted AintMeat® I was blown away by how much this tasted like the real thing," said San Francisco Healthgood store owner, Honeysuckle McWhisp, a 32-year-old man who has not eaten one speckle of meat in his entire hippy life. "I think meat is disgusting, that's why I'm vegan. So when I eat AintMeat® and it tastes disgusting, it brings back a lot of my memories of what I think meat tastes like. It's amazing what they can cook up in science labs these days."
"Plant-based meat used to be a fantasy, but now it is the future," said Dr. Keller Heron, one of the inventors of AintMeat®. "But after a lot of hard work and even harder science, we finally have something we as vegans can proudly say tastes just like the very thing we do not eat and cannot stand the taste of. We have brownish, reddish piles of soft, spongy mush: something nobody would have imagined scientists could accomplish. We have AintMeat®."
High Horse Inc. is proud to move the world to a new place beyond animal cruelty and into a more natural, organic future, where meat is processed from strange chemicals and protein globs in test tubes and beakers, bubbling and slimy in science labs, forming into coagulated steaming piles of brown mush that drip strange pink fluid and smell like wet cardboard — just as mother nature intended.