WASHINGTON, D.C.—Denouncing the white privilege from which they've benefited their entire lives, white Democrat leaders announced today they would be resigning from Congress to allow more diverse voices to be heard.
Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, Bernie Sanders, Joe Kennedy III, Eric Swalwell, Richard Blumenthal, Adam Schiff, Jerry Nadler, and dozens of others formally turned in their resignations today in order to combat the prevalence of white privilege in our country. Elizabeth Warren will remain so as to give Native Americans a voice.
"We must make space for people of color to be heard," said Senator Chuck Schumer, who had donned a rasta dreadlock wig and beanie. "And the place where white privilege is most prominent is here in Congress, where old, white people make rules for a bunch of oppressed people. No longer. Effective today, we all resign."
"I bless the rains down in Africa, and Wakanda forever," he said, solemnly performing the Wakandan salute.
Joe Biden also declared he would be resigning from Congress but aides quickly reminded him he's not in Congress and he's running for the presidency and his name is Joe Biden.