WILKES-BARRE, PA—At the beginning of January, people often complain of accidentally writing the wrong date on all their documents as they adjust to the new year.
One staunch King James Version-only believer in Pennsylvania has taken the error to the extreme, still writing the date as "1611" on all of his checks and other papers.
The man, Gary Myers, 57, slapped himself on the forehead Monday morning as he made the error again. "Oh, you doofus, it's 2019, not the beginning of the 17th century, unfortunately." Sifting through the stack of paperwork on his desk at the office, he realized he'd been writing the date that way for quite a while, as all of his files showed the year as 1611.
According to sources close to the fundamentalist believer, Myers has been writing the date like that his entire life, as his ancestors have done stretching all the way back to the re-inspiration of the Scripture in the Authorized Version of 1611. "Every check he's ever written has technically been invalid, but we haven't had the heart to tell him," a source at his bank told reporters. "He's also signed his name 'Erasmus' a few times."
At publishing time, Myers' Reformed Baptist coworker had realized he'd been writing the date as 1689 for as long as he could remember.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.