Inflation can be hard, but no one said this would be easy. We have to band together and sacrifice so that the Democrats can implement their far-left agenda of tearing Western civilization apart thread by thread. And inflation can be especially hard if you're one of those filthy poors. Here's how to deal:
1) Try foregoing expensive medical care for your dog, cat, or spouse. - Sometimes you have to make some tough calls.
2) Try not eating. - A 365-day fast can do wonders for your weight problem.
3) Cut out nonessentials like Netflix, internet, gas, clothing, and housing. - Take a look at the family budget and see if you really need food, shelter, and clothing after all.
4) Remember that you only really need one kidney, some of your lymph nodes, and just most of your liver. - Technically you need just one eye too. Just sayin'.
5) If you're struggling to afford $7 gas, buy a $60,000 Tesla. - It's the obvious call.
6) Get the budget versions of things instead of the name-brand ones, like Transmorphers instead of Transformers, Marshmallow Mateys instead of Lucky Charms, and Christian music instead of real music. - They're almost as good and half the price.
7) Try pulling off a daring heist of three Vegas casinos in one night. - It's just crazy enough to work.
8) Just die. - If all of this fails, you're too poor to live, so what's the point?
If none of this works, we don't know what to tell you other than STOP. BEING. POOR.
Michael Simmons' doctor tells him he's obese and needs to lose some weight - but the patient has the perfect comeback: he's pregnant!