Brought to you by:
While church services are great, small groups are where real, authentic connection takes place. Also, there's food and a decent chance of someone asking if anyone wants to play some Smash Bros. after the Bible study stuff is over.
But do you really want your small group to go on week after week doing the same old thing? Is developing deep friendships with other Christians really what Jesus wants of us? Boring! Lame! Terrible! Sad! Instead, take your small group to the next level with these 6 easy tips:
1.) Start within 3 hours of the advertised time. If you want your small group to really take off, you've got to make it legit by starting within 3 hours of the time advertised on your church's website. If you really want to blow people's minds, start within an hour, if anyone's shown up yet.
2.) Vote the worst sinner out each week until only one really holy person is left. Have small group members vote out the worst sinner each and every week, until just the very best person is left. Judging others is what small groups are all about, right? Remember: there can be only one!
3.) Kick off an in-depth study of hit board games, such as Codenames or Settlers of Catan. Bible study is difficult, but in-depth studies of hit board games are fun and easy. You can rotate in Axis & Allies and several varieties of Risk when people are spiritually ready.
4.) Offer healthy snacks like bacon-wrapped bacon. Every godly small group has a full serving of bacon-wrapped bacon, garnished with bacon, for attendees to snack on. It's the only way to make sure everyone's getting fed both spiritually and physically.
5.) Install a Nickelodeon Slimer in the ceiling to slime anyone who confesses sin in their life. Some official, patented Nickelodeon slime pouring down from the ceiling to humiliate anyone who dares authentic connection by confessing sin in their life is the way to go.
6.) Conclude each session by cranking Michael W. Smith's "Friends" on your boom box. If you want to make sure your small group friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them, then make sure you all join hands for the ceremonial playing of Michael W Smith's "Friends" at the end of each meeting.
With advice like this, your small group will be the talk of the church, and you'll all become fast friends for life!
Relationships with other Christians aren't always easy. That's why Mary E. DeMuth wrote her new book, The Seven Deadly Friendships: How to Heal When Painful Relationships Eat Away at Your Joy. Learn how to navigate sticky friendships and identify which relationships may be robbing you of joy.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.