Everyone knows by now that the Jews are behind everything that happens in the world, but there are far more nefarious plots they are orchestrating that you don't even know about.
The Babylon Bee can now pull back the curtain and reveal the following list of secret Jewish plots:
Making you hit every red light on your way to work: They want you to get fired. And you know who "they" are, don't you?
Slowly reducing the number of Pringles in a can: In 30 years, each can will only have, like, 3 Pringles in it, and nobody will even realize it.
Engineering ice cubes so one will always stick to the bottom of the cup and won't come down until you smack the cup with your hand: You think stuff like that just happens by accident?
Leaving one thing off of your "everything" bagel: Just to mess with you and show you who is really in charge of the world.
Conspiring to make the world think Nickelback sucks: It's the only logical explanation.
Sneaking into your house at night and planting Legos on the floor so you'll step on them when you get up to use the bathroom: Truly evil.
Making you an overweight, lazy loser who refuses to take responsibility for bettering your life in any way: See? It's not your fault.
Causing you to forget to pray and go to church: It's been their plan all along.
Putting the New England Patriots back in the Super Bowl: There's only one way this can happen.
Planting a bunch of podcasters online to make antisemites look like idiots: You may not know know… but you just know.
Microsoft Zune: A rare Jewish plot that failed.
Mormons: Didn't see that one coming, did you?
Don't pretend like your mind is completely blown right now. But now that you've had the truth revealed to you, it's obvious. What are some other little-known Jewish plots? Reveal them in the comments below.
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