Lots of people have been losing their jobs over the last several days as a result of hateful things they posted on social media regarding the killing of Charlie Kirk, but where do they go from here?
The Babylon Bee would like to help out by providing the following list of jobs that would be perfect fits for those who recently became unemployed:
Bluesky influencer: It's a breeze. Nobody will disagree with you.
MSNBC contributor: They have some new openings on the network. Celebrating murder might make your tenure short, though.
Dog walker: This could be an ideal fit, since you can also work with furries.
Supporting actress in an Emmy-winning comedy: It's the role you were born to play.
Horror novelist: It'll now be expected of you to say the most hideous things imaginable.
Harvard professor: Not only can you say hateful things, but you can teach an entire generation of young people to do the same.
Democratic congressman: If something bad happens as a result of what you say, just blame it on the other side.
DMV worker: Everyone who works there is already horrible, so you should fit right in.
Rambling homeless person: You don't even have to interview or have a mailing address for this one.
Mouth of Sauron: You obviously have the experience necessary to speak on behalf of the embodiment of all evil.
So don't feel too down about losing your jobs. Brush up that resume and get back out there. Just maybe keep your horrific murder celebrations to a minimum this time. What other jobs would be perfect fits? Add your suggestions in the comments below.
Tony asks questions about everything in his life. Is he a crazy conspiracy theorist?
